Qian Dodo.
You little milk girl...
Others may be brain-dead,
but you are flat-chested!
You will never get married.
No one will ever want you.
Because you...
are doomed to be lonely until you die.
Now that I think about it, all my misfortunes
all started when I met that witch.
Her heart is more evil than her mouth. (Text: Two years ago)
Two years ago, when I finally was able to get married, (Text: Shanghai 2011)
who would've thought that her curse would come true?
Hello Miss Qian.
Hi, hello.
It's like this...
my groom eloped with my bridesmaid.
This dress cost over 10,000 RMB.
I wanted to ask if I could return it.
Sorry Miss Qian.
Your groom eloping with your bridesmaid is your problem.
Besides, your chest is so small.
If you return it, who will be able to wear it?
If you return it, who will be able to wear it? If you return it, who will be able to wear it?
I'm asking you, if you return it, who will be able to wear it?
Return it for myself to wear!
Then what are you doing here?!
Why do you care?!
I thought I could get rid of the witch's curse if I dated a foreign boyfriend. (Text: One Year ago. Shanghai 2012)
Who knew that her curse was so strong?
Hello Miss Qian.
You're here again.
This time, it's like this.
My groom married another woman.
I was wondering if I could return this dress with last year's dress, but
you only need to give me cash back for one dress.
I'm sorry Ms. Qian.
It doesn't matter if your groom eloped with another woman,
or if your groom eloped with another man. It's your problem.
Also, I told you this last year.
Your chest is so small. If you return it, who will be able to wear it?
If you return it, who will be able to wear it? If you return it, who will be able to wear it?
I'm asking you, if you return it, who will be able to wear it?
My chest is getting bigger, bigger, and bigger!
I don't believe you! Let me touch it.
Touch your head! (Meaning: Not a chance!)
Fine, I'll touch it then!
I am touching it, touching, touching, touching...
touching...touching...
No!
I won't admit defeat.
I, Qian Dodo, may have small breasts,
but don't forget, a mini cooper is still a car!
It can't happen a fourth time.
I have to get married this time!
Subtitles brought to you by The DODO team @Viki
Never Give Up, Dodo
Manager Qian.
Xu Fei, what are you doing here?
Nothing.
The signal is stronger here. I'm sending a text here.
That's against the rules.
Manager Qian, I don't think this is a good idea.
I'm getting married soon!
I don't mind...
I only love one women.
Is that me?
This is sexual harassment.
Hey! Listen carefully.
I'm promoting you.
Uhh... manager...
Kiss me.
Can I?
Yes! Quick!
Thank you manager.
What are you doing!? What are you doing!?
Hello manager!
Shit!
You two are about to get married.
Can you stop playing this kind of stupid game at the company?
Xu Fei.
You are about to start your own company and be your own boss.
Can you behave better?
Yes.
But since you've resigned, I can't do anything.
But Qian Dodo!
At the very least, you are a manager.
Can you please not make other people think that
I promoted you because of our personal relationship?
Qing Qing.
CEO Sun!
I made a mistake!
I won't do the same thing again.
Get out then.
Thanks.
Let's do it again.
Go die!
Wish you success in your business. Xu Fei Qian Dodo, happy engagement.
Congratulations on promotion, Dodo.
Xu Fei is my boyfriend who brings me luck all the time.
We are also getting married soon.
Someone said that marriage is the grave of love,
but all women act crazy and put their lives on the line to fall [into this trap].
But we never thought
that getting married meant we would have to face a lot of obstacles.
This is my life in the future.
Slow, slow, go slowly, slowly.
Excuse me, I'm going to go pass.
I will go this way then.
How about this? You guys lift the box up. I will go under it.
Hey! Be careful! Be careful!
My head!
Do you know how to walk?
Are you going to let me pass or not?
Huh? What kind of joke is this?
Bro, that was glass.
What?!
Boss, I'm sorry. I...
Bro, wait for me.
You just moved in?
Yeah.
Me too. Renovations just finished, but I haven't decided on furniture yet.
Is that so?
Then you can decide on your furniture on Taobao. (Taobao is an online retailer similar to Amazon.)
It will send it here directly.
Wow, it looks like it's great! Is the price just as great?
Then I'll leave first.
It's great!
CEO Sun!
Good morning, CEO Sun!
CEO Sun!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Thank you!!!!
Sweetheart, what's up?
This is for you.
This is a housewarming gift.
Wishing you a long and happy life together,
great wealth, and kids soon!
Thank you.
Wow, what flower is this?
I don't know either. I just thought it looked pretty.
Xu Fei left?
Yeah, he went to look at the new house.
When are his relatives from abroad coming?
I already video chatted with his parents,
but I haven't met his three older sisters yet.
However, Xu Fei told me that they're super nice!
Based on my extensive experience on the battlefield as a daughter-in-law,
you have to cut a bloody path out of the battlefield before you can see that
any woman that a man describes as nice,
you absolutely must be careful of.
CEO Sun, I also want to tell you...
Your husband is calling.
Hi honey!
I miss you so much.
Dodo, you should come visit the new house.
What happened?
You'll see when you come!
We're about to get married, but he still doesn't have the patience to wait until I get off work.
Fine, I'll let you off.
- CEO Sun. - What is it?
I want to take a vacation...
Not escorting you.
You're here?
I bought you a coffee.
What's going on? Tell me.
What is it you couldn't tell me on the phone? You had to call me here.
Huh?
Where are the workers?
I let them leave first.
You let them go? Then who's going to move the stuff?
Actually...
We don't need to move the stuff! The house is gone.
What?
Uh, the agent...
scammed us.
He sold one house to two people.
The other person already moved in.
Hey look!
With all these boxes around us,
and me sitting here drinking coffee, does it look like I'm filming a drama?
What are you performing for!
Hey, hey, hey!
Dodo,
you have to know that
the police said that until the court comes to a decision,
neither of us can live here at all.
Calm down a bit.
Do you know what my mom would say if she knew about this?
Your mom?
"Didn't I tell you before?"
"Don't buy a used house! You never listen to me!"
"Don't pay for the house all at once! Why don't you listen to an elder's advice?"
And then?
"And then?..."
"This marriage can't go on~!"
Your mom wouldn't say that
You think my mom wouldn't say that?!
This won't do.
I have to open this door.
Enough, enough.
Open the door!
Who is it? What are you doing?
Dodo,
have you been well? (in French)
- How are you doing? (in French) - Li Dong?
You... you... you're lovely. (in French)
Lovely.
Return the house to me.
This is my friend's place.
Three too many!
What are you doing here?
- Huh? - Huh?
This is ours!
Yours? Your house?
You guys are together?
Yeah.
They're together?!
- They're together? No. - Yes.
- No! - Yes.
Nooo!!!!
... Shall we go in?
I'll add another 50,000 RMB,
so give us the house.
How about I add 50,000 RMB and you give it to me?
100,000 RMB.
150,000 RMB.
200,000 RMB.
Usually I'm a very generous man, but NO!
Because I'm the victim.
What?
Who's the victim?
- Me. - You? - Me.
Okay. Let's rewind a bit.
That year, who was the one
that ran off with a foreign woman when he was about to marry me?
At that time, I was the victim! Okay?
Wait. You guys almost got married? Be quiet!
Shut up.
You guys still have the nerve to say that you're getting married?
Furthermore, I'm divorced!
I've divorced one person already!!
What does you getting divorced have to do with me?
No... you don't care if I got divorced or not?
No, don't care.
You don't care about if I'm happy or not?
Not really.
You're way too cold-blooded.
Don't blame me if I pursue legal action!
That's how we'll decide on it. Before the court makes the decision, I'll give you a room to stay in.
Give us a room to stay in?
So... you're saying that you'll live with us?
Of course! Dude, what do you think?
I have no problem with it!
You don't agree, do you?
I don't.
Okay then! Then let's go with plan B,
which is I call your mom over and tell her about what's going on. Okay?
Have you met her mom?
Yeah, I've met her mom.
Just imagine if her mom got involved.
"I've already told you! Don't buy a house that's been previously lived in!"
That's right! Aiyo, you're saying it just like her! Stop! Stop!
Shut up!
Don't overdo it.
Okay, let's just leave it at that.
I'll give you a bedroom. Good enough for you or not?
Give me a bedroom...
The bathroom must be used separately.
Deal.
Deal!
Dodo,
welcome home.
Shut up. (in French)
Hey, hey, hey!
Dodo likes diced tomatoes that are smaller than this.
Really?
Uh huh.
Did you know that she likes it when
the egg yolks and egg whites are beaten separately?
Small pieces, small pieces, okay.
So you think you really know her, eh?
Dodo likes her tomatoes with a bit of salt.
Oh, add salt, right? You know that too?
I'll add a little. Is this enough?
Is this enough?!
Don't mess up my eggs!
This is messing with your eggs?
- This is messing with your eggs? - You!
Actually, Dodo doesn't even like stir fried tomatoes and eggs!
Girls, you must remember
to never let your ex-lover and current lover live together.
Otherwise it'll turn out like this. Extremely troublesome.
Hey!
Ah,
you guys made two plates of
stir fried tomatoes and eggs?
Yep! This is the one that I made for you.
This is the one that I made for you!
Isn't it your favorite? Try it.
- Try mine! Try mine! - Don't eat his!
His tomato is cut up too big.
It's not that big!... Don't eat his eggs!
His eggs are too salty!
Ugh...
My stomach kind of hurts...
It hurts...
I don't really want to eat your eggs today...
But...
you guys can eat it.
I'll just eat this dish. I'll be okay.
Um... Then can I try your dish?
Yeah, sure... Then I'll try yours.
Whoa!
Although it's kind of big,
it's actually pretty good.
Your egg is more delicious than mine.
I'm going to have some more.
Thanks man...
Eat some more!
Try my egg!
Living Together Battle Round 1. I am very ugly. I am your treasure.
You!
I...
So you are the culprit!
What is this?!
It's my child.
Why is it so ugly?
It's also Dodo's kid!
Give back my child! Give back my child that I had with Dodo!
Child!
He's not your dad!
I'm your new dad.
He won't treat you well!
Living Together Battle Round 2. One person eats. Two people get supplements.
If you eat apples, you'll become smart.
Come, come, take it...
Damn child! Die!
Living Together Battle Round 3 The ex-lover sees conjugal love right under his eyes.
Shameless!
Living Together Battle Final Round If you can drink a lot of alcohol, you must be able to stomach it.
Orange juice! I'll get it!
Be careful! You almost spilled it...
Ahh, it's hot...
Dodo, if you're watching TV, you should watch in this direction...
Who knows? He might be married.
It's hot, so drink a lot.
It is pretty hot... I need to be cooled down.
Do you want a sip?
It's actually pretty hot...
Oh yeah...
You want show your shape, huh?
Yeah!
My back is itchy. Help me rub it.
Look at my back! Will you massage it a bit?
You guys are so annoying!
I'm trying to watch TV!
It's your fault!
Why are you pouring around? Who pours it on their backs?
Are you trying to show off your muscles??
Is your head filled with water?
If you dare, we can compare!
Ok, let's go!
F*CK!
What's up man?
I can't take it anymore.
Let's move out.
Xu Fei~
You have to trust me!
Nothing can ever happen between Li Dong and me anymore.
Then what's that?
This was a birthday present from Li Dong...
I love it... I want to keep him...
But the reason I like it isn't that it was a gift from Li Dong.
Babe,
being a man means that you must be confident.
Okay.
If you're confident enough, then you'll move to my ex-girlfriend's house.
Her house is huge.
Which ex-girlfriend?
Yu Chun Hua. (Her name means spring flowers.)
What a plain name! Did she come from the countryside?
She did come from the countryside.
- Oh really? - Yeah.
I remember in high school, she was pretty fat.
She wore glasses. Her hair was messy, and her butt was also pretty big.
Can she do housework?
- Yeah. - Can she cook?
- Her food is very good. - Can she wash clothes?
She definitely can.
You really aren't going to be a bother for her?
I don't think so. She is a nice person.
Contact her immediately!
Okay.
New daddy, I want to go too.
Give me a hug man! Give me a hug! C'mon!
You also want to go?
- Yeah! Give me a hug man! Give me a hug! - Come, come here.
Yeah c'mon! Yeah!
Xu Fei, is it you?
At that time, I didn't know
- Yeah. that women or men who appear before a marriage
are all enemies.
Subtitles brought to you by The Dodo Team @ Viki
Sweetheart, you have oil all over your mouth.
Let me help you wipe it off.
it isn't oil. It is the drool I drooled from looking at you.
You... what was your name?
(undecipherable gibberish)
So your name is?
(undecipherable gibberish)
Hi!
Xiao Fei. ("Xiao" is used as a term of endearment. It literally means "little")
Dodo, come eat with us.
I'm already full.
As for running into you downstairs,
with her caring for you,
I'll give you two choices.
A. You stay here by yourself.
B. Both of us pack up right now and go back to Li Dong's place.
When all is said and done,
you just want to live with your ex.
Don't listen to other people. They are just saying nonsense, you know?
Okay, hanging up now, okay, bye bye!
You were lying to your mom.